Third Blow - But Different

I got some more bad news this past Tuesday night.

Rohini Patel called to tell me that her husband Mukesh had passed away. I was shocked. I just saw them and their son, Keyur, the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. They had me and 2 other ex-employees (and 1 spouse) over to their condo on Coquina Key for a get-together with tons of delicious indian food, beer, wine, etc. Oh we all had a lovely evening.

I worked for Rohini and Mukesh for 11 years from about 1984 to 1995. Most of that time was spent working at their Monocle Bookshop at the Tampa International Airport but I also helped out in their other stores over the years. They were absolutely great to work for and were nothing but wonderful to me. Oh I earned every penny, believe me, but it's great to work for someone who won't ever ask you to do anything they wouldn't do themselves.

Anyway, over the years we'd lost touch and especially once I moved to Atlanta. When Pop was alive I drove back and forth to Tampa, it was only after he passed that I started flying instead. On my very first flight, I stopped in the Monocle Bookshop and immediately could tell Rohini still owned it. I left a short note with my number and she called right away. It was like no time had passed at all. We decided it had been way too long and that's when we talked about getting together over the Labor Day weekend.

Mukesh had been sick with diabetes but they had it under control and he looked and acted fine to me that night. If there was one word I'd use to describe him all the years I knew him, it would be "jolly". And he was that night too. We all reminisced about the years we worked together - the successes, the failures...and we laughed and laughed too. Mukesh retired for the evening while the party was still going on saying he was just tired, but Rohini thinks he must have had a heart attack that night after we left. When he woke up the next morning not feeling well, she took him to the hospital, but he just never recovered. He was only 55.

I know that owning your own businesses comes with a lot of responsibilities but it also allows for a little more flexibility - once you get them all fully staffed like they had. And while Rohini and Mukesh had a very nice life filled with family, friends and fun, I can't help thinking the poor man never got to retire and fully enjoy the fruits of his labor.

This grief thing is weird - there's really no explaining it. While the death of my Pop has of course saddened me, Jeanette's Dad's passing left me feeling depressed - probably because her Dad died so recently after mine. However, Mukesh's passing has had an opposite effect on me. He died at such a young age that it's sort of lit a fire under my ass. Yes I'll always be sad and miss my Pop and there will be an empty space in my heart, but now I feel like there is no time to be sitting around feeling depressed. I know these roller coaster feelings are part of the whole grieving process. I also know that I need to do what I feel like doing because that's part of working through this, but Mukesh's death has been a wake-up call to me in a way.

Life is short, our time here is unknown. We need to strike a balance between taking care of ourselves, living through all our emotions and getting out there and living.